


You've Got This

by orphan_account



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Comfort, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide mention, ask to tag bc idfk what im doing, tiny nsfw joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Paul has a bad night filled with racing and intrusive thoughts, thankfully his boyfriends are there to comfort him.
Relationships: Patryck/Paul (Eddsworld), Patryck/Paul/Tord (Eddsworld), Patryck/Tord (Eddsworld), Paul/Tord (Eddsworld)
Kudos: 24





	You've Got This

**Author's Note:**

> self indulgent bullshit i typed in the middle of the night while having a pretty exhausting breakdown. im fucking hopeless my dudes. anyways here's paul being comforted by his boyfriends  
ps. ignore all the tense issues and general awful writing, it's late at night and i didn't proof read this enough. also terribly ooc bc fuck you.

Nights are always the hardest. Your thoughts always get louder and scarier that you begin to cry and curl up and try to shut your brain off to sleep. But it never works. 

Paul grew up feeling that way all his life, having countless of sleepless nights, and spending countless days rotting away, laying in bed, never having the motivation or energy to get up. 

Tonight wasn't any different. His brain was racing with nasty, disturbing intrusive thoughts. He couldn't get his mind to slow down and he felt like he couldn't breathe. His mind felt so full and loud, his body felt heavy and shaky, his hands felt like ripping things apart. 

His pillow was full of tears and his blankets were disgusting, large streaks of snot smeared on them. He couldn't really stop crying, everything felt like too much and he couldn't handle all the noise in his head. 

He felt so useless all the time. All his efforts to get better just backfired and he was always back to the beginning. It never seemed to get better, he was always back here, crying into his pillow with his brain yelling at him that's he's worthless. And he felt like all he ever did was drag Patryck and Tord down with him. He felt like a burden, like nobody actually loved him, like nobody ever wanted to actually be with him. He felt like he was just bothering them all the time. 

His thoughts yelled at him to just break up with them, it'd make killing himself so much easier, and they'd be better off without him there. They'd just forget about him in a couple of weeks.  
But he didn't want to, he didn't want to lose the only two people who truly made him feel happy. He didn't want to lose the only two people who ever bothered to listen to him. He loved them too much. 

But also. His brain made a point. It'd make killing himself so much easier. Why stay alive when you have no one and nothing to live for?

He curled up more into himself. What the fuck is wrong with him? Why would he even be considering that? Why would he...

"Paul? Are you okay?" Patryck peeked in through the door. "Ah, I thought I heard you crying, what's wrong?" Pat said softly as he entered the room and walked over to the bed. 

"M' just having a bad night. Brain loud." Paul wiped the last few tears off his face and the snot out of his nose as he sat up. 

Patryck looked a little disgusted at Paul's snot smeared blankets, and made a mental note to wash them tomorrow. Regardless, he put his arms around Paul and gave him a little kiss before burying his face in his shoulder, and humming a little tune that Paul liked. 

Paul immediately got comfortable in his arms and leaned his head on Pat's, and smiled softly. He loved Patryck so much, he had a much softer voice compared to Tord's, and he did everything so carefully to make him feel safe. Patryck's hums calmed him and cleared up his head a little.

Patryck raised his head from Paul's shoulder and gave him another kiss. "Do you want to talk about it?" Patryck loosened his arms to sit back to look at all of Paul. 

"I'm just... insecure... I feel annoying and like I'm bothering you and Tord all the time. And I feel like I'm never getting better? I'm still stuck in square one like I was months ago." Paul looked away as he spoke, always feeling guilty when he told anyone his problems. 

Patryck let go of Paul completely only to hold his hands. "You're never bothering us, dear. We enjoy every second we get to be with you, even if you're sad and you're venting to us. We want to help, and we want you to feel as happy as you make us feel. We love you, Paul, and nothing is ever going to change that, no matter how many bad days, breakdowns, panic attacks. We'll still love you all the same. You're amazing." 

A kiss. Two kisses. 

"And you are getting better, every day you make it farther than the last time, and so what if you fall back? Recovery isn't linear, my love. It doesn't mean you aren't healing or recovering if you have a bad day. Look at you, you've made it this far even if everything has been difficult and everything seemed impossible. You've had it rough, dear, and every day that I see you making progress makes me so happy, I'm always so proud of you." 

Paul looked down at their hands, and then up at Patryck again. He had little tears in his eyes. He couldn't process everything Pat said as being true or genuine, but it still made him feel happy and warm inside. He was getting better at it. 

Paul leaned in for a kiss and buried his face in Patryck's shoulder this time. "I love you, thank you for being here for me..." He said softly against the shoulder. Patryck just ran his hand up and down Paul's back, and held him close, always paying close attention to the rise and fall of Paul's back as he breathed. 

"You guys aren't in here fucking, are you? You know that's reserved for Fridays." Tord joked as he poked his head into the room.

Patryck rolled his eyes at the bastard. "Of course not. Paul was having a bad night, so I came in to comfort him. He could use his other boyfriend here too." Patryck waved his hand towards them, calling Tord over. 

Tord was inside the room in no time and was on his way to the bed before remembering.  
"I'm gonna be behind you, love, just so you're aware." He told Paul before settling behind him.

Paul raised his head from Patryck's shoulder and leaned back against Tord, grabbing his arms and wrapping them around himself. Tord just went along with it and held him, giving kisses to the back of his neck and perching his chin on Paul's shoulder. 

"Paul thinks that he's bothering us, and he feels like he's not getting better because he's back to square one." Patryck held on to Paul's hands and massaged circles onto them with his thumbs. "He just needs a little reassurance."

"Love, you could never bother us, we're always happy to help you, and we love every second we get to spend with you. We love everything about you, all the good and bad and ugly. There's not a thing we would ever change about you. We want you to be happy and smile. We love to see you smile. See that right there? That's what we love." Tord poked at Paul's face when he started smiling. 

"And you are getting better, love. You just have to think about how far you've gotten, and not how many times you've fallen. These things happen, your recovery isn't gonna be smooth or easy. It's gonna be tough and be all over the place and it might seem like it'll never get better, but it does, and you're tougher than you think. You've got this, my love." 

Tord covered Paul's face in kisses, brushed his hair back behind his ears, and gave him even more kisses. He loved seeing Paul smile with all the little kisses he'd cover him in. And Paul just couldn't contain it anymore and started giggling the more kisses he got. 

Paul's mind was much clearer now, and he felt calm and at peace, he couldn't say much because he was just exhausted at this point. But he managed an "I love you guys so much.."  
His heart felt so warm and he couldn't stop smiling. He really loved his boys. 

Patryck and Tord shared a kiss before covering Paul in even more kisses and hugging him so close he was just sandwiched between the two. They decided to sleep on the same bed for tonight, and maybe they'd sleep here all week, just to be next to Paul. 

Patryck held Paul's hands and softly admired them with his own hands, and he looked at Paul and told him he was wondeful, which made Paul snatch his hands back and cover his face with them. Patryck just laughed and cuddled himself up to Paul.  
Tord traced patterns on Paul's back and occasionally gave the back of his shoulder a kiss. He finally wrapped his arms around Paul's torso and started to drift asleep while telling Paul how amazing he was. Paul just continued to hide his face in his hands. 

Paul was the last to fall asleep, but he felt so happy and loved, his heart felt soft and warm and he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. He gave his boys one more kiss goodnight before finally drifting off to sleep, this being the first time he'd get peaceful sleep in weeks.


End file.
